We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize