You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
