ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
