see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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