her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
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Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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