He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
