I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
