Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
