we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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