My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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