Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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