So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
