Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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