Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Drake has all the answers
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
