fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
