If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
