If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I need a burrito and a hug.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
