using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
