But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
