This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
