dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
