And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
