This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
