I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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