I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
