She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
