He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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