he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
