soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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