I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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