if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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