put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
