I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
