he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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