oh god the rape fog is back!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
