You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Even my vagina gasped.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
