i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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