This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
