do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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