I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
