can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
