As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize