ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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