well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
