I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
