highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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