Redeem this text for a blowjob
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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