I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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