I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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