Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Terrible idea I love it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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