if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
