Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
