He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
this just has baby written all over it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
