while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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