all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
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Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
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you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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