Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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