Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
