ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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